No need to fantasize. No need to worry. No need to overanalyze to the bottom of things. No need to be self-conscious.
No shame in enjoying yourself. Laugh with your mouth wide open. Express with no inhibition.
Appreciate every second. Find beauty in every mundane detail. Dwell on nothing. For you could miss what is beautiful right before your eyes.
Live in the present. Today, here, now.
we are funny creatures. we see good qualities in people we like, and bad qualities in people we dislike. we are drawn towards those we like and feel blessed in their presence. we express admiration and gratitude and sometimes, if we’re lucky, we receive admiration and gratitude back from those people.
but somehow, and perhaps this is just me, i always assumed that people only liked me because i genuinely liked them. it is only until recently that i found out that i, too, was also being genuinely liked for who i was. for what i stood up for, for showing vulnerability and yet at the same time, strength.
in other words, i saw what other people saw in me, and what an eye-opening and liberating experience that was.
so this is why he stopped looking.
so this is why i was worth the wait.
and this is why we are worth the wait.
i have to admit, the extent to which i plan my future events is sometimes (read: almost always) over-the-top. i will buy tickets for shows that are coming up in 3 months that i don’t even care that much about and that will likely not be sold out. just because. i fail to foresee changes, not only in situations, but also in myself. then when the time comes and something else comes up, i end up stuck in a dilemma.
when this happened before, i would nag about it to someone else, asking that person to make a decision for me because i am indecisive myself. that was not only annoying and detrimental to my relationship with that person, it also did not help with my independent decision making skills.
but not yesterday. yesterday, i gave myself the option of just going along with it and decided, on my own, what i wanted to give up for the sake of what. and i did not regret it one bit.
why create turbulent streams of thoughts for yourself to drown in? when you can simply float along first, then steer and pedal to where you want when it comes to you? let life come to us, and we will come to life.
i’m sure we’ve all experienced this. whether it’s a movie, a book, an album, a series, a restaurant, or even a theme park, we hear about it and we’re teased by it, yet it is somehow unavailable to us for quite a while.
the anticipation builds up and we’re anxious to see it. then…finally one day! it’s here! our curiosity can finally be satisfied, and it may or may not be worth the wait.
luckily for me, the movie i was referring to did turn out to be well worth the wait. but even if it wasn’t, the sensation that runs through you in the moment when you find out that it’s out, even if it only lasts for one second, is always flipping
sometimes you get a good idea for a project but due to external circumstances, it becomes burdened with barriers and lack of resources and you are disappointed to see it go to waste.
but don’t just give up on it! at least not yet. hang on to it for a bit longer, explore other options with that idea at the back of your mind, and you’ll realize that it can be realized in another form that might be even better than the original.
a piece of gold will shine no matter what. flexibility and adaptability will help it get there.
i have to admit, i used to never care about school-related events and even used to despise them. they were “too institutionalized” and i was of course too cool for it.
but the truth is, between being a “keener” (what i would’ve formerly referred to this behaviour as) and an “activist”, there is learning, there is concern, and there is excitement. i don’t necessarily regret becoming involved this late, because i’m just enjoying it, and it IS better than never.
while sarcasm and extreme inside jokes with friends are intensely enjoyed by me, it is sometimes quite enjoyable to be with a group of friends that are inclusive, outrageously optimistic and positive, and straightforward in their way of speaking and interacting.
it’s simple, it’s easy, it’s awesome.
it’s such a wonderfully familiar yet refreshing feeling to see a friend who usually keeps up with her appearances come to the library to study with you in the standard studying hobo attire: hair up, no makeup, glasses, hoodie, gym shorts, and slippers, while you look like a lesbian housewife in your flannel shirt and baggy jeans.
cause when the exam is tomorrow, to hell with appearances. your marks are more important than what you looked like the day before.
This was something I was never able to do before. Not due to the duality of it but I was basically incapable of being hardcore with anything. Either way, I have found out the hard way that that is not the way to spend your time. At least not in your youth.
So now I study on my way to and back from “play”, literally. Surprisingly, it’s actually been pretty efficient. More efficient than how I used to study, anyway. Maybe it’s the motivation, maybe it’s the guilt, maybe it’s the sense of urgency. Either way, mission stimulation: accomplished!
it’s one thing to have pleasant small talks with people. it’s another thing to find people who share your interests. and yet it is an entirely different thing, to meet someone for the first time, to be compatible in your personalities, to have your philosophies match, to feel close instantly, and to become close friends right then and there.
today was the second time i met this friend of mine, but every time we see each other, it’s as if we’ve known each other for years. we feel comfortable sharing personal stories and feelings, never run out of things to talk about, and always, always have a blast.
just for that, i consider myself pretty damn lucky.